Border agents stationed at the Mexican side of the Rio Grande river today expressed surprise and confusion at a sudden influx of transgender teenagers apparently fleeing the United States.
Agent Mateo Luna described his initial disbelief at being summoned by colleague Luis Vega to witness the spectacle of the hundred or so teens wading unsteadily across the river while holding their few possessions above their heads in an attempt to keep them dry.
“We were in the middle of our usual game, when Luis beckoned me to the window,” said Luna. “And usually, I know better than to leave my cards unattended, because Luis is a cheating fuck. But something in his eyes told me he was sincere, so I went to look.”
“I wasn’t even sure what I was seeing at first,” added Vega, “and by the way, it is Mateo who is the cheating fuck. Anyway, I caught a glimpse of some kind of multicoloured entity moving across the water. And only when lit up by a passing helicopter beam, did I see that it was dozens of teenagers. Kids really, most of them wearing rainbow colours, or t-shirts with those Japanese cartoons on them. All desperately scrabbling to cross the river.”
Station chief Gabriel Medina added that such an occurrence was unprecedented in his eighteen years on the job, such that the legal status of this mass border crossing was unknown.
“Look, we have to have border guards,” explained Medina, “otherwise the Americans make us pay for theirs. But we’ve never really had to, you know, do anything before. If I see fellow Mexicans prepared to risk it all and take their chances on the Yanks’ side of the river, I’m not going to be the one who stops them. But people fleeing into Mexico? That’s a new one.”
Quizzed by Opium Tea on whether this reversal could have been prompted by any legal developments, Medina was nonplussed.
“Look, the governor over there, Greg Abbott? He likes to fuck with the law. You know that most people trying to enter the States don’t even just get turned away any more? They’ve teamed up with the guys who own the border ranches, so now you get arrested for trespassing, and jailed.”
“So I don’t know what’s got all these trans kids suddenly running for their lives, but maybe it’s got something to do with him?”