December 19th 2021 has been declared the first official Graham Linehan Coming Out Day, as an opportunity for the hundreds of anonymously abusive Twitter accounts run by the disgraced former sitcom writer to reveal their true identity.
Since being banned by Twitter in 2020 for repeated violation of its rules against platform manipulation, Graham has resorted to operating increasing numbers of “sock puppet” accounts in order to maintain a comparable release of dopamine to when he had over 600,000 followers to engage with.
Graham, who until recently believed it was necessary to dispose of and replace your phone in order to open a second Twitter account, spoke about the cumulative financial and psychological cost of such an addiction.
“It’s a tricky balance to maintain,” said Graham, “because it’s always hard to gain followers when you’re starting from scratch. And obviously, to get the attention I crave, I need people to know who I am. But once too many people realise it’s me, the account gets suspended.
“The one I’m using at the moment was actually an old account given to me by a friend, because ‘Joined November 2021’ was becoming too much of a giveaway. And of course, when you’ve created as many beloved comedy catchphrases as I have, like ‘fuck off incel’ or ‘ball-cradling handmaiden’ or whatever, it’s easy for people to find you that way too.
“Anyway, now that I know you don’t need to keep buying new phones and can just create as many accounts as you like with spare Gmail addresses, it feels like the right time to stop feigning anonymity and say yes, I am Graham Linehan. And I am no longer ashamed.
“And that’s what Graham Linehan Coming Out Day is about. It gives me a few weeks to pluck up the courage to engage with people directly, rather than just banning them from my Substack or lying about being on Twitter under the flimsy pretence of needing to do so to keep my accounts. And if it fails, well, it’s the Sunday before Christmas, and nobody in real life really gives a shit either way.”
In tribute to Graham’s hard work in abusing trans women and their allies, Opium Tea now presents a selection of “greatest hits” from the accounts which are attempting to summon the bravery to say: Yes, I am Graham Linehan, and I am no longer ashamed.